So, summer's here everyone's enjoying the sun, going to the beach to work on their tans, partying, jumping into summer romances, while Im in my room, curtain's closed and haven't left the house in 3 days. I'm beginning to run out of TV shows to watch on Netflix and I feel like i'm going insane. The place I live is full of tourists throughout the entire year making it a lively place. But the tourists aren't teenagers coming for a day by the beach or partying in the summer houses by night. These are families with kids under the age of 10 or older couples looking for a place to relax.
It sounds nice, but being the age that I am, it drives me nuts. Don't get me wrong there are times when my friends are here that are incredibly fun. We'll go drinking at someone's house, bring a few beers down to the beach, sit by the harbour with an ice cream and a speaker and it's great. But once they all leave, I'm stuck here alone.
Now a teenager doesn't usually spend their time hanging out with their parents all the time, although if you do well done I applaud you because that takes patience! I live here with my mom and younger sister who goes to school here therefore is always out with her friends that go to school with her. I on the other hand go to boarding school 3 hours away. Obviously because it's summer vacation I had to come home. I was in Italy for 2 weeks at the beginning of July but now that I'm back it makes me realise how much I hate being here. I know a few people from back when we went to school together 4 years ago but a lot has changed since then. We've all grown up and we are in the prime time for our teenage years.
All my friends from school go back home to Spain, Russia, New York, Italy, and South Africa while I'm just stuck counting down the days until school starts. This is not how summer is supposed to be. I should be out tanning (although I'd probably just sit in the shade), or having fun meeting new people, exploring new places. But I'm lying on my bed for 24 hours a day.
If there was a chance, I would go back to Italy and be with my dad and his family there but it's too late. I'd have to be back within a week!
Now there are some friends that are still in the country. And getting to them isn't a problem. It's money. Next Thursday, I get paid from the state for studying. After that I'm free to travel all over the country as much as I want. But until then, I'm spending the rest I have left from this month on cigarettes and root beer.
Moving on, there's a guy. We've been very close for 2 years now and we Skype often and I can easily say he's my best friend. We've been through so much together. We went (still do) to boarding school together and have seen each other and lived together for 2 years! But that's not the entire story... At a certain point in a friendship, you begin to develop feelings. You're stuck in a place thinking, if we act on these feelings what happens to the friendship? If we don't act on our feelings will they go away or will we be stuck wondering what if throughout the course of the friendship?
We tried acting on our feelings and we've openly talked about it afterwards. Even though we're not together or telling anyone about any of our business we've said we should stop the things we're doing. Even though we're closer now than ever. But there's this undeniable tension between us. Even speaking over Skype makes my stomach twist (in a good way). We still have a few weeks left of summer and we've decided that we want to see each other soon. It's our chance to finally be whatever we are without the tension of our friends noticing something, or caring what other people think. I can't wait to know what that feels like. To just be around him and be ourselves.
With that being said, I think that's enough ranting for 1 post.
Even if no one's reading at least I can look back years from now and reminisce on the thoughts that went through my mind at this point in my life.
It sounds nice, but being the age that I am, it drives me nuts. Don't get me wrong there are times when my friends are here that are incredibly fun. We'll go drinking at someone's house, bring a few beers down to the beach, sit by the harbour with an ice cream and a speaker and it's great. But once they all leave, I'm stuck here alone.
Now a teenager doesn't usually spend their time hanging out with their parents all the time, although if you do well done I applaud you because that takes patience! I live here with my mom and younger sister who goes to school here therefore is always out with her friends that go to school with her. I on the other hand go to boarding school 3 hours away. Obviously because it's summer vacation I had to come home. I was in Italy for 2 weeks at the beginning of July but now that I'm back it makes me realise how much I hate being here. I know a few people from back when we went to school together 4 years ago but a lot has changed since then. We've all grown up and we are in the prime time for our teenage years.
All my friends from school go back home to Spain, Russia, New York, Italy, and South Africa while I'm just stuck counting down the days until school starts. This is not how summer is supposed to be. I should be out tanning (although I'd probably just sit in the shade), or having fun meeting new people, exploring new places. But I'm lying on my bed for 24 hours a day.
If there was a chance, I would go back to Italy and be with my dad and his family there but it's too late. I'd have to be back within a week!
Now there are some friends that are still in the country. And getting to them isn't a problem. It's money. Next Thursday, I get paid from the state for studying. After that I'm free to travel all over the country as much as I want. But until then, I'm spending the rest I have left from this month on cigarettes and root beer.
Moving on, there's a guy. We've been very close for 2 years now and we Skype often and I can easily say he's my best friend. We've been through so much together. We went (still do) to boarding school together and have seen each other and lived together for 2 years! But that's not the entire story... At a certain point in a friendship, you begin to develop feelings. You're stuck in a place thinking, if we act on these feelings what happens to the friendship? If we don't act on our feelings will they go away or will we be stuck wondering what if throughout the course of the friendship?
We tried acting on our feelings and we've openly talked about it afterwards. Even though we're not together or telling anyone about any of our business we've said we should stop the things we're doing. Even though we're closer now than ever. But there's this undeniable tension between us. Even speaking over Skype makes my stomach twist (in a good way). We still have a few weeks left of summer and we've decided that we want to see each other soon. It's our chance to finally be whatever we are without the tension of our friends noticing something, or caring what other people think. I can't wait to know what that feels like. To just be around him and be ourselves.
With that being said, I think that's enough ranting for 1 post.
Even if no one's reading at least I can look back years from now and reminisce on the thoughts that went through my mind at this point in my life.
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